Rejection

I got enough rejections for a day. I've been working in a sales company for several years and receiving a "No" is just a usual thing.  And life has to go on.  I don't linger on the No, but I keep on trying to reach clients that might finally say "Yes". 

The same is true with my personal life. But the rejection is just so hard to bare.  It is like a slap on your being, a total disgust of the kind of person that I am.  It is truly painful.  Nevertheless, life has to move on. I don't want to dwell on that feeling. I may cry, I may be upset and I may go to a binge eating again.It truly hurts big time right now but I know someday I will be okay. It will all be a part of a distant past. I know somebody I'll find someone who is going to accept me of what I am.

Farewell

Oftentimes we tend to forget how much we are loved and being cared because we are too busy looking for something else.  I am not an exception to that.

Last week, my assistant manager with my manager as her ultimate accomplice, prepared a power point presentation for me. The effort that they made really amazed me.  Since it was my last day at work, it was their objective to make me cry. And oh man!  I did cry a bucket. And I laughed at the same time!

I actually never realized how much I was valued as a person until I hear them speak.  I was so overwhelmed and was so flattered to know that I mean something to them.

I actually thought that I would go unnoticed. But I was wrong. They made that day one of the remarkable days of my life. And from the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank you! I don't have to mention your names, you know who you are guys...

Let me share some photos.  I reserved most of them for private consumption only.

me in green, laughing and crying

Chang, who cried the most.  Lovya!

with all the gorgeous "Bullies". Oh man, look at my puffy eyes!

Just a phase

Just the other day, I thought I am going to lose my job. By the sudden twist of events, through hard work and faith, I am back to one.

I have been working with a sales company for 6 years now. When I started, there were barely 40 employees. Everyone seems to know everybody.

Lot of things has change since then. We moved from one floor of the building to another to cater the growing number of people coming in.

The biggest change was when the company was bought by a large company. It was a nice marketing strategy that puts the company in a better position.

The internal change didn’t happen overnight. It was a bit slow at first. But after 6 months or so, it became more evident. And though changes were anticipated since the acquisition, to most of us we still get surprised if not blown away.

Many of my colleagues have taken a different route while some remained. The past several months were very challenging for me that I thought it really stripped me down to the core. I could have taken similar route– simply leave the company before I would be asked to.

I never thought that I could cry like a baby in front of my managers and in front of the team. The thought of it is so embarrassing. But at that very moment, it doesn’t really matter. It is merely an impulse for someone who cares about her job and the frustration from not hitting the goals for months.

The situation I was in had made me realize the value of my job specifically this sales job. I had made a declaration for countless times that sales is really difficult but this is also the job where money comes in. Some times it would even felt like manna pouring down from heaven. But if it’s all because of the money, I could still have chosen to go away. It is absurd to stick with a job that feels like hell. Everyday is full of remorse. I can’t live each day like that. I might end up cold and floating in Pasig river.

Honestly, when I first started, I didn’t feel that I am suited for the job. But as times goes, I learned to love and enjoy what I do. And not only that, I enjoyed the camaraderie so much and the working environment that makes leaving terribly hard.

It is not definite on what is going to happen next. But this is what I am sure of right now, and that is I have triumphantly surpassed another challenging phase of my life.

5 years and counting

Some people are innately talkative and amiable. They could be a promising sales people. But for a person like me who seems to be born with a natural timidness which I never seems to outgrow, the sales job didn't came easy.

Working at night was also very challenging at first. Changing my body clock was very difficult. During my first few months, I sometimes missed going to work because I failed to wake up. That was really embarrassing but things like that happens. A lot of my colleagues experienced the same too.

I actually thought that I wouldn't last. But amazingly, I've already spent 5 years in the company and still counting.

We had a dinner last time to recognize some people who have done tremendous sales job and those who have spent their years with the company.